


Burn This

by thirstaidkit



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Academia, Alcohol, Anal Play, Chance Meetings, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Firefighters, Food Sex, Freeform, Marijuana, Meet the Family, Mutual Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pegging, Recreational Drug Use, Rey Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Romance, Shy Ben Solo, Sort Of, Tags May Change, camboy Ben, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:41:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirstaidkit/pseuds/thirstaidkit
Summary: Socially awkward and lonely classics professor Ben Solo is having a terrible day when a chance meeting with sexy firefighter Rey Niima threatens to further upend his life. Maybe heating things up a little is just what he needs.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 34
Kudos: 74
Collections: Reylo Pegging Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [](https://imgur.com/SsynWS9)   
> 
> 
> Content warning: recreational marijuana use.

If only he hadn’t panicked, it might not have come to this. 

Smoke billowed out of his office. The fire was out now, but he hadn’t been quick enough. By the time he’d reacted, running down the hall for the extinguisher with all the gracefulness of a stork on land, it had spread from the wastepaper basket to the desk. And then the sprinklers had kicked on, and the automatic alarm. 

Now he was standing there helplessly dripping as the ceiling rained on him, watching the charred remains of his career dissolve into a sooty puddle.

As the wail of the sirens grew louder, the previous several hours flashed before Ben’s eyes - which was silly, really. His life wasn’t _ending._ It was already over. This retrospection wouldn’t help anyone. It was self-flagellating. Masturbatory, even.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had all started with his first class, which was trying even on the best of days - a bunch of mostly Nutrition and Exercise Science majors who had English credits to fill and had somehow gotten the notion that Mythology was a soft option. No one ever seemed to have done the reading, and no one spoke in class, leaving him forced to hold forth on the day’s topic while they shopped online or watched TikTok videos or did really anything but engage with the material. 

Today there had been presentations due, which Ben, who was still painfully shy in spite of all his efforts to overcome his social anxiety, had seen as a relief. For once, they would be doing the talking. No such luck. Nearly half the class (including, conveniently, at least one person from every group) had turned up absent, necessitating a class-wide extension. Giving up, he’d put on Clash of the Titans for those who had bothered to come (the Harryhausen one, not the remake) and turned his attention to mentally preparing himself for his performance review.

Which had gone poorly, to say the least. They weren’t renewing his contract due to budget cuts, they’d said. There was only one associate position available in the department moving forward, and they were giving it to Hux. He could kiss tenure goodbye. And that had been _before_ he’d set the office they shared on fire.

He hadn’t meant to, of course. He’d only intended to pack up some of the books and papers he’d been collecting there over the past few years. It should have been a harmless exercise in moving on. But then he’d found the joint Bazine had given him tucked away in the back of a drawer. The pretty, eccentric Sculpture grad and he had hung out for a while in spite of the fact that she thought he “had a terminal need to relax”, but he’d never managed to do so quite well enough to ask her out. Since she’d graduated, she’d moved across the country and gotten engaged. Story of his life.  
And she’d left behind...this. It was late in the day and no one was around, Hux having left hours ago after smugly informing him that he had a date. It was a non-smoking campus, but they did have a little window...and what was the worst that could happen? _What are they going to do,_ he asked himself, _fire me?_

Rummaging in the pockets of his tweed jacket, Ben had found a book of matches, and that had settled it. The smoke had made his lungs burn in a way that was both familiar and strange. It had been a while. Undergrad, maybe? He couldn’t remember. Which was why he didn’t do it anymore. He didn’t like the fuzzy forgetful feeling it gave him, like smothering consciousness in a thick blanket. Except right now that was just what he wanted. 

He only hit it a couple of times before stubbing it out in a coffee cup. He wasn’t sure _how_ the fire had started, exactly. Only that it had, and here he was.

\------------------------------------------------------------

They came pounding down the hall, geared up and ready for action. There were five of them, and they were the picture of efficiency as they blew past him into the office and assessed the situation. The fire was out already, he thought, quenched by the sprinklers. But still, they did their due diligence. When the spray was turned off and the firefighters were satisfied they weren’t needed further, they filed back out and removed their helmets.

“Improperly extinguished cigarette ash,” said a crisp female voice. It wasn’t clear to Ben which took him more by surprise - the voice itself, or the fact that its owner seemed to be covering for him. “No serious damage to University property, just a few scorched papers and some soot.” Someone was handing him a report to sign; he barely glanced at it.

She was the only thing he could see. Chestnut brown hair pulled up in a messy bun above sparkling hazel eyes. A sprinkling of freckles across her cheeks and button nose. Bright smile. She turned it on him, and the rest of the world receded, sucking away from him like the shore just before a tsunami. 

“Hey. Are you okay? Did you get burned? Do you need first aid?” She shrugged off the heavy protective coat. Under it, she’s wearing matching overalls and a navy t-shirt, cuffed slightly at the sleeves to accentuate her toned, muscular arms. “Are you having trouble breathing?”

He was, but not because of the smoke. Because of her, and her proximity. This goddess. Ben swallowed hard, his adam’s apple working furiously. He nervously raked a hand through his mop of jet black hair, displacing water that trickled maddeningly down the back of his neck. 

“I’m - “ he choked. “I’m fine. 

“You sure? You seem a little out of it. Wasn’t sure if it was the weed,” she whispered confidentially, “or if you were suffering the effects of smoke inhalation.”

“Thanks for covering for me.”

“You looked like you needed a break.”

“You have no idea.” He’d taken his glasses off and was polishing them on his shirt; an act of futility, since it was just as wet as he was. She looked at him as though about to say something. He didn’t notice.

“Niima!” barked a harsh voice over the walkie-talkie she carried at her hip. “Quit flirting and get out here!” 

“Sorry”, she said, embarrassed. Into the device she responded “Sure, Cap. On my way.” She turned, and with a “Well, take care,” she was gone as quickly as she’d appeared.

_Flirting?_ By the time it had registered, it was too late to do anything. As usual.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so much in the same way that i recently changed another story (melt with you) from e to m because it ended up wanting to be more romantic and less smutty stylistically than i had planned, this one is getting spicier and i've had to raise the rating. if you were here for adult themes, but didn't want a lot of smut, back out now and go read that one instead! this one is shaping up to be filthier than i had intended. sorry, i don't always plan these things, sometimes they tell me what they want to be instead of the other way around!

“Ugh, seriously? I can’t believe she threw you under the bus like that!” said Rose between sips of mimosa. They were having brunch, and Rey was relating the events of her most recent shift, including the way Captain Phasma had embarrassed her in front of that cute professor. 

“I can.” It wasn’t just that the Captain was harder on her than she was on any of the other guys in the department. Which she was. Rey understood that, and for the most part, respected it. “She warned me when she hired me that women in our field have to work twice as hard as the men just to be taken seriously. She doesn’t let me slide on anything.” 

“Tell me about it,” huffed Rose, who was a mechanical engineer. Rey had been surprised to find that she dealt with even more sexism at work than Rey did, considering the fact that Rose’s job didn’t even factor in physical strength as a requirement. “But that doesn’t mean she has to be such a bitch about it. It’s not like you aren’t focused on what you need to do.”

Actually, all things considered, Rey’s had a pretty easy time of it in that regard. The guys at the firehouse had pretty quickly welcomed her into the fold, and Rey couldn’t shake the suspicion that, had Phasma not paved the way, this might not have been the case. So Rey felt a little guilty allowing Rose to disparage her, even if it was out of loyalty.

“It’s fine, I’m over it. I wonder how he’s doing… Poor guy seemed like he was having a rough time.”

“Too bad you lost your opportunity to swoop in and make it all better.” teased Rose. “So give me a visual. I need to be able to picture this soggy pothead you’re crushing on.”

Rey laughed, nearly choking on her eggs. When she’d swallowed, she tried to describe him. “Tall. 6’2’’, 6’3’’ - somewhere around there. Not beanpole tall, though. Solid build. Broad shoulders. Dark hair, kinda longish. Pretty eyes. He wasn’t like, classically handsome, necessarily. More….compelling-looking. Sort of tweedy.”

“Hmm.” Rose nodded thoughtfully. “Do you think you’d have asked him out if she hadn’t interrupted?”

“I don’t know, we only talked for a minute. It just felt like there was….a spark or something, you know?”

“You know what I think?” Rose didn’t wait for a response. “I think you’ve been single too long.” She raised her glass for emphasis.

“I’ll drink to that.” 

\-----------

She was alone now, having said goodbye to Rose hours ago. They hung out as often as they could, but Rose was busy with work these days. And unlike Rey, she had other friends - Kaydel and Jannah and the others whose names Rey couldn’t keep straight who had grown up with her here. Even after a year of living in the smallish college town, Rey still mostly felt like an outsider - not a townie, but not affiliated with the university, she had no family, and other than Rose and her coworkers, no friends. 

Certainly no social life to speak of. It wasn’t so bad when she was working. The long shifts mean that for days at a time, she was on duty at the station, surrounded by the camaraderie of her coworkers, who were all very tight. Finn, Poe, Beau and Wex were good guys, and their proximity helped to lessen the feeling of aloneness.

A little. It wasn’t very intimate companionship, of course. And after two or three days on, it was hard to come back home to the silence of her little apartment, and the predictability of her routine. Eat. Watch netflix. Waste time online. Masturbate. Repeat. She couldn’t help but feel slightly pathetic. Soon she’d be talking to herself. 

She cracked her laptop open, wanting a distraction from these feelings. She’d recently discovered a new source of entertainment online, and she guessed it was about time to indulge again. She scrolled through a couple of pages of screengrabs announcing various streams until she’d found one that appealed.

Unlike most of the guys she’d seen on here since finding the site a few weeks previously, “Kylo Ren” didn’t look like he spent all of this time in the gym applying self tanner. Nor was he one of those painfully skinny boys, so reedy and hairless that she suspected they weren’t all actually of age. That’s not to say he wasn’t fit. Large of frame but lean of build, he was muscular in a natural, unstudied way, and though his wide chest was mostly smooth,enough coarse black hair shadowed the lower half of his body to make her confident that he was indeed a full-grown man.

Louche, decadent even, he lay back, pale against the soft-looking charcoal grey bedding when she entered the chat. Idly, he stroked the growing bulge in the front of his black briefs. Yeah, he’ll do nicely, Rey decided. His face was obscured by a mask - it looked like some sort of ancient artifact, but was probably a reproduction, she reasoned. But there was something exciting about the mystery. He could be anyone or anything under there: monstrous or beautiful, familiar or strange. Rey’s curiosity was piqued. She started typing.

_rey_of_sunshine: i like your mask. Want to see more of you.

A moment’s pause, and then she saw him turn to type a reply just off camera. 

kylo_ren: it’s not coming off, so don’t ask.

_rey_of_sunshine: I wasn’t.  
_rey_of_sunshine: I’m not.  
_rey_of_sunshine: I meant your cock.

Thank goodness he couldn’t see her, because now she was embarrassed. Other times when she’d gone into a chat there had already been other people in there and things had moved along without her input. She had been free to just occasionally throw a tip at the performer and otherwise observe silently. But apparently it was just the two of them at the moment. She hurriedly sent him some money. Probably too much, but whatever.

kylo_ren: oh.  
kylo_ren: that makes sense. Sorry. New at this.

He stopped typing and shoved his briefs down, and Rey liked what she saw. Oh shit, she breathed quietly. He’s hung. It wasn’t just a matter of size either. Sure, he had a definite case of tall dick, proportionate with his height, which was….well, he didn’t all fit in the frame. But it was thick, too; fat and veined and gently curving upwards at an angle she just knew would be devastating to anybody lucky enough to get to sit on it. 

kylo_ren: this what you were looking for?  


_rey_of_sunshine:😅 yup

He stroked himself languidly, fully hard now, the head of his cock very pink against the paleness of the rest of him. Rey felt a strong desire to lick it like a lolly. She had her panties pushed down too, now; around her ankles and out of the way while she ran her fingers through the slick folds of flesh between her legs. A warmth was spreading through her already. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, alone together in a liminal state between intimacy and isolation. 

She wondered who he was behind the mask; what he was thinking of right now. She wondered what he’d think if he could see her - would he be more turned on? Or less? 

kylo_ren: now what? 

She didn’t respond right away. She was fumbling in her nightstand drawer for a vibrator. Fingers weren’t enough, she needed something inside, filling her. She wanted to be able to imagine herself there with him, stretching herself around that fat cock. When she’d found the toy she turned her attention back to the computer to find him waiting patiently. Impatient with need already, she hurriedly typed a response. 

_rey_of_sunshine: now i wanna see you cum so hard you forget your own name. 

Obediently, he increased his speed, kneeling in front of the camera like a penitent. His fingers curled tightly around his cock, and he pumped it mercilessly while Rey tried to match his rhythm. She liked the way he just went for it. Some other performers seemed bored or mercenary in the way they were always holding out for more viewers, more tips; only giving the bare minimum at a time. He was different in the way he went straight to it, with an unexpected abandon and vigor. He really must be new at this. He would never make much money at it at this rate. She tipped him again. Couldn’t have him quitting on me, she thought, not when she’d just found him. Maybe if she paid well enough, she could keep this for a while.

She kept time with him, fucking herself with the vibrator to the quiet repetitive smack of his tight-fisted hand. She liked how rough he was. Would he be that way with a partner? She wondered, running the toy in haphazard circles around her clit. Was it self-abuse? Or would he fuck someone else with the same energy - like it was punishment well-deserved? 

They came at the same time, coordinated as perfectly as though they’d been in the room together. Warmth spread all through Rey’s body as her muscles tightened and her cunt twitched and dripped around the toy. On the screen, Kylo spurted like someone stepping on a packet of discarded sauce on the sidewalk in front of a takeout. It hit his mask with a satisfying “thwip”, shooting out of him like a fountain to cover his hand and chest in what looked like runny icing. 

They both lay back, spent and panting. After taking a minute to recover, he wiped himself off with a nearby washcloth and turned again to the computer.

kylo_ren: how was that?

Rey had just enough energy to tip him once more before signing off with a single emoji:

_rey_of_sunshine: 🔥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone has advice on a script that would make the chat parts of this look more authentic, let me know! i'm not super tech savvy.
> 
> shoutout to the folks on twitter (@witchyscribbles and others) who were throwing this idea around as a prompt, it helped give me some direction for where i wanted to take this story, which needed...something.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait between updates. I'm having a hard time right now with managing depression while maintaining creative energy. that old 2020 mood is fucking me up and not in the good way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgur.com/SsynWS9)

Ben was doing his weekly grocery shopping when he ran into her again. The goddess. She was out of uniform in a racerback tank top and shorts that showed off her muscles, _right_ up in his personal space as she stretched, straining on tiptoe to reach the top shelf. He hadn’t been paying attention, too busy comparing the labels on two types of coffee. Did he want bold and robust? Or smooth and rich? What did that even mean? Wasn’t coffee just coffee? And then suddenly, there she was.

He handed the packet of filters down to her, trying not to stare at the freckles that were scattered across her tan shoulders or the fact that she smelled like oranges and coconut. Her hair was partially down today, cascading down her neck in soft brown waves. She smiled at him again, the way she had the first time, and Ben couldn’t hear anymore for the sound of blood rushing in his ears. They were probably red, he thought regretfully. They always turned red when he got nervous.

“Oh. Thanks.” she said, waving the filters around a bit, and then, recognizing him; “...Hi.”

“Hi.” They stood there in silence for an awkward moment. 

“How are you?” she asked, pushing through it. “You look better. Dryer, anyway. Did you get in trouble? With the university?”

“I lost my job, actually.”

“Oh no! I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I asked, it’s none of my business.”

“No, it’s okay. It actually happened...before. Pre- the fire.”

“Oh. I’m still sorry.”

“Did _you_ get in trouble?”

“Me? Why would I be in trouble?”

“Oh…. I don’t know, I thought...Maybe you stayed too long to talk to me. Because of what your boss…” _Quit flirting,_ she’d said. Did she not remember? Was it too far from the truth to merit consideration?

“Oh, ignore her. She’s just….like that. I’m fine. Just stocking up for a shift.” She gestured to her cart, which was loaded with fresh ingredients - meat, vegetables, lots of healthy stuff. It looked like an illustration in a public health brochure.

“That’s a lot of food.” 

“Well, we take turns shopping and preparing big group meals at the station. It’s not all for me.”

“I thought maybe you had a big family or something.”

“No, I live alone.”

“Me too.” 

“Really? I’d never have guessed.” She laughed freely and Ben looked at his selections with fresh eyes. Three rotisserie chickens - (dinner tonight, tomorrow, and the next day). A bottle of mid-shelf gin. Bread, peanut butter, milk. A couple of frozen meals. Cereal - lots of it. The contents of his cart made a very different statement from hers - one that was less “healthy living” and more “perpetually single incompetent who never learned to cook for himself”. He might as well have been wearing a sign that said “loser” on it. He said nothing, so she continued to fill the conversational gaps.

“Although it is good to see that you are, in fact, aware of the existence of vegetables.” she said, reaching into his cart and brandishing the lone representative of that food group, a single carrot. 

\-----------------------------------

It had all started out as a joke. Probably.

He had written it off as one, in any case. Not that Hux had ever shown any evidence of a sense of humor. But what reason did he have to gloat? He’d won. He had everything; including a father who’d been the dean, but there was no use griping about that. No, it hadn’t been a factor at _all_. 

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Hux had said. “You can take some time, work on getting something published. And hey - if that doesn’t work out, I’m sure you have….other talents.”

“Sure, I’ve just been waiting for a sign before I embark on a brilliant second career as a burlesque dancer.” 

“You scoff, but I hear it’s the easiest thing in the world to become a camboy these days. And supposedly it pays well. _I_ wouldn’t know.”

“Yeah, well I guess we can’t _all_ be talented.” 

Ben had dismissed it. Until he’d taken a long hard look at his finances. Which were untenable. He had enough to keep a roof over his head, thanks to the modest trust fund left to him by his grandparents. The house was covered. But he still needed to eat. 

The more he’d thought about it, the better the gig had sounded. Making his own hours, not having to undergo the thousand daily humiliations of work in the retail or service sectors. As long as he was able to sufficiently obscure his identity so that no one from real life could find out, he couldn’t really see a reason not to at least try it.

So he’d made an account. And he’d repurposed a bit of office decor for the job, in the form of a mask; a replica of a piece of ancient Roman armor. It did more than conceal. It liberated him, too. Behind it, Ben’s shyness and insecurity had vanished and he could be someone else. Someone who wasn’t full of doubt, who didn’t feel inadequate. Someone sexy; confident.

Objectively speaking, he knew he looked pretty good naked. Even if he hadn’t, the unanimous praise of the very few people who’d seen him that way would have clued him in. He liked to think that he had a few moves, too. The problem was only that hardly anyone ever got close enough to see that side of him. Well, if they wanted to, now they could pay for the privilege. 

And whether surprising or not, they had. Well, just one person, really. Which was fine - better, in fact. He didn’t need a big audience, so long as the money kept coming in. Which it did. Enough for groceries, at least. Whoever _rey_of_sunshine was, they were generous enough (if not so great at spelling). 

Seeing their username pop up in the chat had become an almost daily occurrence. Once or twice someone else had popped in and then out again. Once or twice no one had turned up at all and he’d shut the laptop and had a wank on his own, for free. It wasn’t quite as much fun, somehow; a fact Ben didn’t want to think about too hard. It wasn’t a relationship, for chrissakes, just some lonely old dude trolling for a whiff of younger dick. 

Still, they’d established a pattern. It was simple; comfortable, almost. Log in, then a little bit of banter, then stop typing and get to business. He hadn’t even minded when they’d started offering suggestions. It took the pressure off of having to perform. Follow instructions, collect dollars. Simple enough, and they hadn’t asked for anything _too_ odd. 

Just a little ass play. Hence the carrot. Ben didn’t have any toys. Long term, he supposed he ought to buy something if he was going to keep doing this, but short term, well, the carrot seemed...safe. An easy way to dip his toe in the water, as it were. He’d made a point of choosing one that was sturdy, straight, and not too big. He’d considered everything but what to do if he ran into his dream girl in the dry goods aisle and she picked it up and started waving it at him.  
\--------------------------------

“Do you _mind?_ ” he hissed, snatching it out of her hand and throwing it back into the cart.   
She looked a bit taken aback, so he added “Sorry.” 

“Sure, sorry. I didn’t realize you took your produce so seriously. I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

“No, don’t - I mean…” He started awkwardly. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I meant to thank you again, actually. For what you tried to do for me.”

“Sorry it didn’t work out.” She waited, expectation all over her face as he tried to choke it out. 

“I’m not good at this.”

“At…?”

“You’re very attractive.” She beamed. Well, that was something.

“....and?” 

“I’d like to take you to dinner sometime.” _There._ For better or worse, it was out. But before she could respond, another all-too-familiar voice sounded, just behind him. 

“Hey, look who it is, honey. Our son _is_ alive! Didn’t I say there was no need to worry? He’s just been busy because he met a girl! Told you he’d start taking after his old man one of these days.”

Ben’s face fell. _Perfect timing, as usual. Thanks, Dad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup, that's right. I'm writing Han into this one. Finally.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> food play, basketball, meeting the parents, sugar mama tendencies, and anal penetration. not necessarily in that order.

“Han, you have the manners of a moose. Is this any way to make a first impression on the young lady?” Rey turned towards the voice, which was coming from a short, sturdily-built woman in her middle sixties with an elegant demeanor and a twinkle in her eye. The man who walked beside her was a little taller. He was also a little older, a little scruffier, a little less...buttoned up. He was nearly old enough to be Rey’s grandfather - wrinkled and silver-haired - but he had an indefinable air of _naughtiness_ that made him seem much younger. The woman smiled indulgently at her companion. Rey liked them both instantly.

“Hi.” she said, with her usual forthrightness, sticking her hand out at them. The woman took it warmly and shook, beaming at Rey while sneaking glances at her son, who was all but cringing at their arrival _now, of all times._ The man kept his hands at his sides, but nodded politely in Rey’s direction.

“Hey. I’m Han, she’s Leia. We’re Ben’s folks. Or we were last time I checked. Hard to be sure, since he doesn’t call home, ever.” he said, an edge of bitterness in his voice. _Oh._ Rey looked at Ben, who was looking very hard at the floor. His ears, sticking out of the raucous black hair, were crimson. He looked like he wanted to fall through the checkered tiles; like being swallowed by the earth would be preferable to what was actually happening. Rey spoke impulsively, not sure why she was doing it.

“Sorry, that’s my fault. I’ve been greedy, keeping him all to myself.” She said, turning on her best thousand-watt smile. She reached out and put her hand over his, where it rested on the handle of the shopping cart. “You know how it is.” Ben’s head snapped up and he frowned at her in surprise. The blush had spread to the rest of his face. _God, he was cute._ Leia and Han murmured in assent, apparently not quite sure what to say to this. 

Leia recovered by turning her attention to Ben. “Well, you can make up for it by coming over next Thursday for dinner. I’ve been trying to get you on the phone to discuss it.” She turned back to Rey: “Of course, you must come too dear, unless you’ve other plans already.” She didn’t wait for an answer before turning back to her son. “I simply won’t take no for an answer.”

“You know how she gets,” commiserated Han. “You might as well let her have her way now, kid. It’s not worth the hassle.” He thumped Ben on the back, and as suddenly as they had arrived, they were gone. 

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Then; “You didn’t have to do that.” He didn’t pull his hand away, and she stayed there, fingertips grazing the back of his hand.

“I know. You just looked embarrassed, and...it seemed the quickest way to shut them up.” 

“Well, thanks. You don’t have to come to dinner with them. I’ll make some excuse. I mean, I wanted to take you out, but that wasn’t what I had in--” 

She cut him off before he could continue. “I don’t mind, actually. I mean, if you don’t want me to--”

“ **No!** ” he said, too quickly. “I mean, it’s just a lot, my whole family, the holiday…”

“The what?” 

“Next Thursday. It’s Thanksgiving. Not exactly a low-pressure situation for a first date. My family can be a bit...much. Dysfunctional, even. I’d already been half tempted to find some way to avoid going, I don’t want to put you through..”

He trailed off. She had forgotten about this holiday, which she had never celebrated. Was it weird to him that she wasn’t put off by the idea of dinner with his family, no matter how dysfunctional? How to tell him that she found the awkwardness and mess of his family drama strangely appealing? She who had no family at all now, and could barely remember a time when she had? How to tell him that he didn’t need to be embarrassed by them, these people of whom he was a refraction. They were _interesting_ to her. 

“Isn’t Thanksgiving a holiday based almost entirely around food?” She queried. “Sounds like my kind of ordeal.”

Ben smiled in spite of himself. “Yeah, and they always have a great spread at my parents’, I’ll give them that much. But--”

She silenced him by taking up his hand, hoping he didn’t notice her hard swallow when she became aware of how massive it seemed in her own. Before he knew what had hit him, she had produced a pen and was scrawling her number on it. When she was out of sight, he did an awkward little dance of joy. He was careful not to smudge the ink all through the rest of his shopping. It was smeary, and his hand sweated awfully. Only when he reached his phone, charging in the car, and tried to program the number in did he realize the problem.

\-----------------------------

Rey was at the station, unloading her groceries from the car when her phone honked. Snap, Poe, and Finn were playing a little 2-on-one behind the station house. “Wanna jump in?”, Finn asked, his brown forehead shiny with sweat. It looked like he had been doing most of the work keeping Poe from scoring - Snap was bent over, panting and heaving into the bushes.

“No, thanks. But why don’t you give him a break and help me with these?” Without awaiting a reply, she heaved one of the bags at him. Finn accepted it with equanimity. Robbed of his last functioning playmate, Poe sauntered over, salt and pepper curls plastered to his forehead, wiping the sweat from his face with his tank in a move calculated to show off his washboard abs. Fishing in her pockets for the phone, Rey wondered what Ben looked like under all those layers. One thing could be said for tweed, it left a lot to the imagination. She probably shouldn’t get her hopes up - academics weren’t known for being in the best shape. He was probably skinny as a rail, noodle arms and no ass. Just hands and feet and ears.  


Between them, they got it all unloaded in one trip, and Rey checked her messages while the boys unpacked and put away the groceries. (Well, while they were supposed to be putting them away; there was some cavorting and a game of chase involving an eggplant that she did her best to ignore). It wasn’t too hard. The message read:

 _Hi. It’s Ben. (From the store). I guess we never really introduced ourselves properly....how do I spell your name? I think it started with an N, but after that, I’m lost._

“Saw you got food, want help cooking?” Snap, recovered, had come in from the lot and lost no time before he started opening cupboards and rooting through the fridge. It was no secret that Rey wasn’t much of a cook, having sustained herself for most of her life on instant or frozen meals-for-one. Fixing real meals for a group was very different, and she still had a lot to learn. She didn’t mind letting Snap, who considered himself something of a gourmand, take over. Soon Poe and Finn had returned, wearing different clothes, and joined them, a familiar camaraderie filling the station with laughter and good smells as they bustled around Rey chopping, mixing, stirring, and only occasionally teasing her about how she couldn’t seem to put her phone down.

_Niima is my surname, actually._

_Can I ask you something? Are you real?_

_Lol what do you mean?_

_A mysterious, beautiful, nameless woman who keeps appearing out of nowhere to put out small fires both literal and metaphorical…. and agreed to go out with me? Sounds fake. Not my life, anyway. I definitely dreamed you._

_Ha! I’m all too real. No mystery about me, really. I’m just.... Rey._

\-------------------------------------------------------

It was a coincidence. It had to be, of course it was. No, it wasn’t a _common_ name, but a girl like her would never need to use a site like this, and even if she did….the world wasn’t that small, _was it?_ After hours of texting about everything and nothing, they’d said goodnight and he’d logged in. He didn’t have to wait long before _rey_of_sunshine joined the chat. Ben kneeled on the bed in front of the camera, masked and ready, an electric buzz of excitement running through him. It was too easy to imagine the person on the other side of the screen as her, even though he knew it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be _her,_ this person who shared her name, who was so interested in his body and the things he could do with it. It _couldn’t_ be.

 _But oh, if it was._ And what did it harm, really, if he let himself believe it? If just for a little while, he pretended that it _was_ her. That not only did she want his cock, but that she wanted it badly enough to pay him for the privilege of looking at it? That thought alone was enough to make him hard, without needing to lay a hand on himself. He grabbed up the carrot and a jar of coconut oil from the nightstand, displaying them for the camera.

_rey_of_sunshine: snack?

kylo_ren: a treat, let’s say.

_rey_of_sunshine: for me?

kylo_ren: Only the best for my best patron.

_rey_of_sunshine: “Patron” sounds fancy. I like it.

He stopped typing then, because his hands were about to get messy. The coconut oil, once scooped onto his fingers, melted rapidly. It got everywhere: the carrot, sure, and his ass crack of course, were well greased, but it soon spread to thighs, belly, chest, and cock, which gleamed in the low light as he worked it over. Slowly, he eased the carrot into his hole, making a conscious effort to relax the muscles. It wasn’t so bad, he’d chosen well. A couple of inches in, it hit a spot inside him, and Ben moaned, so loudly he surprised himself. He’d been making a point of keeping pretty quiet, the better to stay anonymous and unidentifiable. He suddenly didn’t care anymore. He imagined her on the other side of the screen; imagined that she liked what she saw. His hand slipped over his cock - faster, faster, a rhythmic counterpoint to his grunts and groans as with his other hand, he fucked himself with the carrot. 

When he came, it was with an intensity that surprised him. His abs tightened so hard that the force of it doubled him over, and his thighs shook uncontrollably. He collapsed back on the bed - a little too hard. The carrot broke beneath him with an audible _crunch._ He lay still for a few moments, recovering, then awkwardly, he sort of shuffled, sort of slid off the bed and out of view of the camera. 

_rey_of_sunshine: you okay? 

kylo_ren: fine. Need to uh...take care of something. 

Everything was fine, once he’d taken a few minutes to sort himself out. All in all, Ben had to count this little experiment a success. Especially when he returned to see his tip, which _might_ just have been the most obscene part of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this hasn't updated in so long, i've been struggling with a nasty case of writer's block and a stressful daily life. i'm still planning to finish everything i've ever started, sometime. I had really hoped to get this and the next chapter out by thanksgiving, but here we are. i hope to get the next chapter out within the week, so stay tuned! it'll be full of solo family shenanigans, holiday vibes, (sort of) fake dating, and probably some more smut! i hope this chapter and those to come are worth the wait. leave me a comment or come find me on twitter @whoisEG or tumblr @onesharedbraincell and thanks for reading! stay safe and happy holidays <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok I lied, I needed to take a little more time with the setup before dinner, which will be a whole 'nother chapter. I'll get that one out by christmas.

_Sorry I’m running late, I’ll be there soon._ Ben checked his phone again, palming sweat onto the leg of his pants. Was she going to blow him off? That had been ten minutes ago.

 _We really don’t have to go to my parents. Let’s just get takeout & a movie?_ He typed out in response. He was just about to hit ‘send’ when there was a knock at the door.

He opened it. Rey looked flustered, cheeks flushed pink in the chilly air. Tendrils of hair escaped her updo, catching the light behind her and transforming it into a halo of gold. They spoke at the same time, words tripping over one another.

“Hi, _sorry,_ it’s just been a --”

“Hi. Yeah, no, it’s okay, I just….” they trailed off, staring. There was a moment of awkward silence before he recovered. “You...want to come in?” She beamed at him, and followed him inside, unwinding a creamy-colored scarf from around her long, graceful neck. “Coffee?” asked Ben, and she nodded absently. While he went to get it, Rey immediately and unselfconsciously began exploring the apartment. There was art on his walls - antique maps, prints of what she was sure were famous paintings of classical subjects she couldn’t identify, and in one corner, even a series of primitive masks made from wood and stone. They made her think of Kylo, and a wave of arousal washed over her at the thought. She looked at them curiously, pressing her thighs together as she clenched in spite of herself. They were beautiful, but unfamiliar.

“You have so much _stuff._ ” she said. It wasn’t just the art that made Ben’s place feel so much _fuller_ than her own painfully bare and utilitarian space. It was the bookshelves too. They were floor-to-ceiling affairs; orderly, but crammed full of texts. Books on history, art, poetry. On top of each other, stacked horizontally; in some places, they were wedged onto the shelves in double rows to take advantage of every inch.

While Ben poured the coffees, Rey perused the titles, most of which were unfamiliar. She hunted through the physical evidence of his life like an archaeologist, running a slender finger along the spines as though they were telling her things. _Maybe they would_. She picked up a volume, let it fall open to where the binding was broken, and read:

“Everything all right?” He asked from the kitchen, digging in the cupboard for sugar. Rey fumbled the book and replaced it quickly, feeling almost like she’d seen something she shouldn’t have.

“I - I’m fine. My last shift was a rough one, I overslept a bit. You know, I ought to warn you, I’m actually still on call. Thanksgiving is sort of a big holiday for fires, apparently. People improperly deep-frying turkeys improperly. So there’s a chance I may need to leave suddenly and go in to work.”

Of course she’d come up with an out - who wouldn’t? “Dinner with my parents might make you wish you would. I feel like I ought to prepare you - Oh!” Ben began, but the words died on his lips as he emerged from the kitchen with the coffee tray to see Rey disappearing into his bedroom.

Something she’d glimpsed through the open door had drawn her like a magnet - a drawing - not finished and framed like the art in the rest of the house, but pinned to the bare wall above the desk. It was a charcoal pencil sketch - rough, but graceful - of a woman. She wore a flowing gown with liquid lines and an elaborate headdress, the sinuous rays of which mimicked the flickers of flame. Rey looked closer at the drawing, taking in nothing else of her surroundings. The figure looked distinctly, undeniably familiar.

He had followed her, carrying the tray. Without speaking, he put it on the desk and helped himself to a cup, black . Rey, in turn, took hers, spooning huge mounds of sugar and cream into it. They regarded the drawing for a moment and sipped.

“You drew it?” she asked, a little overwhelmed. It was so good. _Not to mention_ -

“Yeah,” he said softly. It’s just something I’ve always done.”

“She’s --”

“A fire goddess.” A goddess whose face and body were modeled after Rey’s. She was certain of it.

“It’s really beautiful.” she began earnestly. “But I have to ask, is she --?” before Rey could finish, Ben’s phone rang. It was his mother, wondering where they were, and apparently she couldn’t wait for them to get there to give him an earful, so Ben excused himself and went back into the hall. Rey finished her coffee, put it on the tray, and turned to follow him out. Only then did she register the rest of the room. Next to the desk, a dresser. Across from it, a moment of recognition even more jarring than the one she’d just experienced.

She _knew_ that bed, with its charcoal comforter. She’d seen it more often lately than she could really afford. And there was no mistaking the face that gaped blankly from the nightstand. _Kylo’s mask._ The bottom dropped out of Rey’s reality for a second while she processed the fact that there was _way_ more to sweet, shy professor Ben than she had previously expected. She had never wanted to jump someone so badly in her entire life, all of a sudden.

But it put her in a weird position. She knew, but he didn’t know that she knew. How to break the subject? It could get really awkward. Rey really didn’t want to fuck this up. Ben was hurrying her back out into the cold now, saying that they should get going, and Rey couldn’t make conversation like a normal person anymore because _how was she going to survive dinner with his family without swallowing his dick at the dining table?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me about this on twitter @whoisEG or tumblr @onesharedbraincell! or leave me a comment, I love to hear from you!


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